Hal and Keyton went down to the neighbor's house to play. Owen is taking a nap...I think. Or he could be chewing on the sides of his crib. Owen has an awesome crib which he has destroyed by biting at the railings. His beautiful crib is full of scratches from his teeth...is that weird?

Jesse left this afternoon. I am feeling sort of crappy about it too. I should not feel sorry for myself....but sometimes a person cannot help it:Right?

Keyton had is first sleep over with a friend last night. His buddy spent the night and I am guessing it went okay. His friend said that he had a good time: however seven-year-olds are fibbers I tell you. They fib about the strangest things. They are always trying to one up the other. It is comical but sort of creepy.

My mother is California. I haven't talked to her since she left for her trip. The last text I received from her stated that she was at Alcatraz...should I be worried?

Decisions

Our realtor put the sold sign up yesterday. It is bittersweet. I am overwhelmed by everything at the moment. I keep wondering if we have made the right decision. I am almost sure we have. There is a part of me that feels super sad that we are leaving. I am jealous of the people who have recently purchased our home. They get to live in this house, which is still at the moment-- MY house. They get to have my neighbors. My neighbors are the best neighbors you could have. I keep waiting to see a car pull up to the front of my house with the couple who bought our home in it-- I keep thinking that these people will get out of their car and they will have someone snap a photo of them by the sold sign. That is what people do. I have seen many photos such as what I have just described. If I do see this happen, I will run out my front door and yell... "LUCKY'S!!
What overwhelms me-- is the same reason that we have decided to move home. I am going from being super independent and anonymous---to a place where I know most of the people in town. I have heard, there are many new people who have moved to Williston. I saw a facebook status yesterday, that sort of alarmed me--it read, " There are so many scary people in Williston right now!". I also saw a person from Williston status update that read, "A man tried to get my mother to jump into his van yesterday, the man kept yelling, GET IN!". Yikes.

Right now, I am never expected by various people to be at various places at certain times. At the moment, we have school functions and sporting events that we are expected to be at, but we don't have other people's functions and/or events that we are expected to be at. I sort of like never having plans---is that so wrong? Nope, I don't think it is.

I have never been good at making decisions. I think-- I get this from my mom. Someone could ask me a simple question such as,"Would like cream in your coffee?". A question such as this will actually stump me. As the person is holding up the cream for me to see, wondering why I am not answering them, I am actually thinking to myself, "hmmm...do I want cream? This is a really good question----maybe I would rather have milk today, what if I say yes, but then wish I had milk?". When I am pondering such a question, the person who has asked it will say something like, " Well you don't have to have cream if you don't want it." Well....dah, I know that, but I really don't know if I want the cream in my coffee or not. So, you can see how a decision as big as moving can stump me. The reason I think I get my lack of decision making skills from my mother is because, I have been with my mother at Wal-Mart, and I have witnessed her try to make the decision about what type of facial moisturiser she wants. Its not pretty. My mother will stand in front of the millions of choices of face lotion and stare dumbfounded...I have watched her stare at these bottles for a half hour straight before. I get it though, I am the same way. So when I am asked a question, and I looked confused...I am. I don't know what I want half the time. Honestly, if I could, I would hire a person to accompany me 24- hours-a-day, and this person's job would be to make my decisions for me.

I recently read a blog that a guy wrote. This guy had a post that was titled "Warning". The blog was about his use of swear words. The post was warning people that his writings included swear words, and that if they were the type of people to be offended by such words, to not continue reading. I thought this was a brilliant post. I try not to use swear words in my posts because I know there are probably a few people who would be offended by the usage--I don't want to make these people uncomfortable, like my grandmother, who says " SARAH, you do not sound smart when you use such words!" The other day, Jesse was watching the show "Lost" ( the one that he recently has become obsessed with). "Lost" rarely has swear words, but the other day one of the guys on the show became mad and yelled " You little son of a bitch!". Hal turned away from the dolls she was playing with and yelled " You little son of a bitch!". Jesse's face was priceless. Of course, we told Hal that what she had just said and heard was not nice, that the man in the show had used a swear word and that she should not ever say that again. We didn't say anything more about what she had said, as Hal is the type of child, that if we make a big deal out something, she will just dwell on it and never forget it. After Hal was once again distracted by whatever it was that she was playing, Jess and I started laughing so hard we had tears running down our face's. To hear that little high-pitched voice repeat such a phrase, was shocking, but yet-- oh so funny. I remember a mother once who told me that she was worried because her daughter at the age of three had begun swearing, I asked this mother what it was that her daughter was saying, the mother had said that her daughter had started to say the word "darn". Oh boy, I am sure am glad this mother wasn't in my house the other day, I think she would have dropped over dead.

Once again I find myself with a few quiet minutes.

It's funny, now that our house has sold, we have let our children bring up every toy they own from down stairs. There is even a giant play house set up in our kitchen as I am writing this. There are loads of clothes that have been set on the stairs that are waiting to be taken up to the laundry room. It looks a tornado has been through here. The neighborhood children decided to come over this afternoon. They were all playing upstairs where the kid's bedrooms are. One of the little girls started crying, so her brother came outside to get their dad. The dad had to come inside to retrieve his crying daughter--I was just praying he didn't break his neck while trying to maneuver around all of the clothes that were sitting on the stairs. It is embarrassing when people enter your home when it looks like the inside of one of the homes that you see on TV...I think the show I am thinking of is called, Hoarders. I am no Betty homemaker. I have never been good at picking up after myself. I am always impressed with people who make their beds everyday. I can't imagine crawling out of my bed, standing-- than making my bed, only seconds after I had woken up. I need to drink coffee, before anything like that takes place. By the time I have had my coffee, I forget that my bed needs to be made.

Jesse has started to watch the show Lost. He is obsessed with this show. He is watching via netflix. I think that I need to stage an intervention. He keeps saying, " Just one more episode."

I am not going to work right when we move back to Williston. I need to check on my nursing licence and see what criteria I need to meet in order to keep my license. I want to stay home with Owen as long as I can. I am thinking about advertising myself as a babysitter--like when people get into a bind and can't find childcare for a day or something. I would like to do that actually--I think it would be fun.

Today at the mall I spilled a whole diet coke down my shirt. I didn't care, but Hal did. She kept saying, "Mom we should leave this place, you look like a crazy person!" I didn't know five-year-olds got so embarrassed. Whatever.

SOLD

Our house sold yesterday. I am happy and sad at the same time. We look forward to our move home. I can't wait until we are surrounded with family once again. I can't wait for other people to be at Keyton's baseball games. Last night Hal was having a hard time thinking about leaving her bedroom. She said she needed to have pink walls again someday. She also said she wanted a room shaped exactly the way her room is shaped now.

Owen woke up wheezing this morning. Loudly. I ran him into the emergency room. The gave him a breathing treatment. The ER doc was not to worried about his symptoms. I thought he was having an asthma attack. I guess he wasn't thankfully. He has never been diagnosed with asthma-- I was really hoping we were not heading down that road. I guess babies who have spent periods on the ventilator are more likely to develop asthma.

Keyton and Hal are running through the sprinkler. It is hot outside. I love it when its hot out. I could live in hot temperatures all year long.

The buyers of our home scheduled an inspection for Saturday. Hopefully, that goes smoothly. I am relieved to be done with this process.

God

Previously, I had promised a picture of Hal from her last day of preschool. Here are a couple of pictures from her "end of the year spring program". The program consisted of fun songs and dancing. It was adorable of course. Hal is tiny for her age, so to see her in the front of the gymnasium between the children is sort of alarming. I am short, Jesse is short, so what should I expect? If you look closely at the top picture ( it is blurry-sorry), you can see how short Hal is compared to the other children her age.

At the moment I can hear Hal and Keyton playing Mario Kart on the Wii. It is funny to listen to them play this game together. I have heard Hal say a couple of times, " This is absolutely tricky!" Followed by her brother's giggles. Oh now I am hearing yelling. Yes, indeed they are now yelling at each other. Maybe, the brother/sister bonding isn't going as smoothly as it was a few minutes ago.

Tomorrow morning we have a home viewing scheduled. Keep your fingers crossed.

It was a rainy day today. I took a nap with Owen. I slept way too long. Jesse is home so I can sneak naps in. I love to sleep. I sleep way to much sometimes. I think I sleep to avoid doing or thinking things I don't want to do or think about. My mother once told me that I can sleep when I am dead. I do not like this logic. I think that if you sleep when you are dead you will miss out on this thing they call heaven. I don't think sleeping goes on up there.

I believe with my whole heart there is a higher being. I believe that, because I don't believe that this beautiful life could have been created without a helping hand. I have been reading a story bible book to Hal at night. I am going to be honest when I say I have a tough time reading these stories within this book. These stories come from the bible, but are written in a way so that children as young as five can understand them. While reading it the other day, I was questioning these stories. I thought man, these stories seem sort of hard to believe. I struggle with the creation part. How Adam and Eve were placed on this earth and were responsible for populating it. I also struggle with the fact that a serpent encouraged Eve to eat an apple, and then convinced Adam to eat the forbidden fruit-- and then God appears and says that he is disappointed in the two of them for disobeying him---he is now going to make life difficult for them. Soon Adam and Eve are embarrassed because they have no clothes on. It can get confusing can't it? I know people who's faith is amazing. They do not question the bible. They just simply believe. I find myself scared that my questioning is going to send me straight to hell. I was telling my mother about these thoughts I have today, after I finished telling her how confused I was, I told her I needed to go to church. She laughed, but I think its true--that I need to go to church. I am scared of church--this is hard to explain. I pray daily. I pray to a God that I know exists. I pray often-- I am ever so thankful for this life I have been given. I ask for protection. I even have conversations with God. I know there is a God. Its the tricky bible stuff I have trouble with. I had a very inspirational experience about five years ago that happened within a church. I have only told a couple of people about this. I was in the midst of having a difficult time and I asked God for some guidance. I asked him some very specific things. I went to church that same day. At church that morning, there happened to be a group which had traveled from some place else. The group was there to sing for the congregation. I think they were an acapella group. I remember when they started to sing, every thing around me stopped. I listened to the words coming out of these singers mouths and I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe my ears. The words they were singing--- perfectly recited the exact words I had just uttered to God only a hour before. Word for word. This might not sound so wonderful or magical. Magical is the word I use to describe this experience. I remember sitting next to my children, my mother, and my father, and I was crying. The tears were flowing down my face. My breath had been taken away. I have tried to find the lyrics to this song, without success. I can't remember what I had asked God about that day, and I do not remember the words that were sung. What I don't need is help from anyone to figure this all out. I would like to continue to figure it out on my own. I had a dream after my Grandma Christine died. This dream was only a couple of weeks after her death. I dreamt that we were in some sort of big room. She for some odd reason was wearing all black. She looked wonderful though. She had a big smile on her face. She didn't have to say anything. She just smiled. I woke feeling very happy and refreshed. My grandma had came to say good bye. I keep meaning to ask my cousins if they have had any dreams similar to this. It would be interesting if they had. All I know for sure is that life is amazing. I am incredibly thankful for all of the love in my life.

It is so beautiful outside today. Owen, Hal, and I have played outside all morning long. I love this weather. If it were up to me, it would be 80 degrees every single day of the year and there would be thunder storms at night, but not scary storms...Jesse is gone too much for the storms to be too out of control.

We have set our moving date at June 18th...give or take a day. I am denying the fact that I have to start packing up. Thankfully, we get to stay at Jesse's mom and dads house. Sue and Erv ( Jesse's mom and dad), are moving out to their farm. We are going to rent their house for awhile. I am thankful that we have a place like this to stay. The housing market in Williston is crazy. I have always thought owning my own home in Williston would be neat. I guess we will have to wait and see what is in store for us.

Owen is able to wave bye bye. He even says' "ba ba" when he waves. So incredibly cute.

I am waiting for the news that my good friend Heidi has had her baby. I think she had her already, but I haven't heard anything official yet.

Other than that, nothing even remotely out of the ordinary is happening. Jesse will be home this evening. Marlys ( realtor) called me this morning and said she had received some news that one of the couples who came for our open house, were writing up an offer. I hope it is more than the last offer we received. We just need something we can work with for Pete's sake---50,000 dollars less than our asking price is totally not doable.

Another Day

Okay, so today was a LONG day. We had three showings (I am sick of the word showings. I could say viewings, but that sounds like something one does when going to a funeral home. I suppose if I said, "home viewings" it wouldn't sound like funeral talk). I told Keyton to sit in front of the TV and not move a muscle. I just wanted to keep my house as clean as possible for the upcoming home viewings. I mean--Keyton likes to take the couch cushions off the couch and bring the kitchen stools into the living room....I was just trying to prevent the usual afternoon obstacle course from being built. I guess Keyton didn't want to play outside this afternoon anyways, because I heard him tell his buddy that he was going to go inside and go to bed....even though it was only 3:00----I am guessing Keyton had a hard day in first grade, so I didn't feel bad about giving the command to sit still and watch television.

We went to Famous Dave's for dinner. Man, it's no wander that place has a whole roll of paper towels sitting on the table. It is messy. Awhile back I wrote about some crabby ladies that were giving me the evil eye at The Noodle Company, well one of the crabby ladies happened to be at Famous Dave's tonight. Wow-- she needs to get some happy pills or something. I really should have taken a picture of her tonight with my phone. I thought about it. I almost told one of my kids to do it. If I only had a rewind button, I would go back, man up, and take the picture. This time I spotted crabby lady sitting in her car in front of Famous Dave's. She was sitting in her vehicle with who I presume to be her husband. Poor fellow. Apple Valley, really isn't that big, so running into people isn't that unusual---just WHY her? Maybe, it's just my imagination, but I swear this lady hates me and my children.

Hal had her last day of preschool today. I would have posted a picture, but I didn't take one. I will take one tomorrow, as I have a ton of time. It will be the day after the last day of preschool picture. I will post the day after the last day of preschool picture tomorrow.

I joined this Facebook group called,"PROCRASTINATOR UNITE......tomorrow though.". This is the funniest group I have came across. People's comments on there are a riot. Someone will post something, and then people write things under it like "I will post something regarding this post....tomorrow". I think its a cute group...I love it.

I got some new shirts when I was in Fargo this last weekend. I was super excited to wear them, as it seem all of my other shirts are either covered with holes, bleach spots,or ugly stains. This morning I carefully picked out which new shirt I was going to wear....I was just so damn excited. I did however, walk around all day and evening with that long sticker thingy stuck right under my left boob (you know that sticker that says what size the shirt is). AWESOME. I am surprised one of my children didn't tell me I had a giant sticker on my shirt, as they seem to point out everything else.

Last week Keyton had a baseball game. Keyton's team is called the Sea Dogs. Sort of a strange team name right? Anyways, since Keyton plays with 6 and 7-year-olds, it is normal that we as parents cheer for both teams during a game. This one kid from the other team caught a pop fly ( not sure if I used the correct terminology), it was an awesome catch so I yelled " Great job Rubber Bandits!!!" I think I yelled that exact phrase 6 or 7 times through out the game. Finally, another mother said, "its the RIVER BANDITS!". Upps. I didn't know. I thought that the teams all just had strange names. I think the name River Bandits is just as silly as the Rubber Bandits. Whatever, now I will just stick to cheering for my own son's team.

Tomorrow we have a home veiwing at 5!

I Don't Care

We just got back from Fargo. Jesse is working, so it was just my three babies and me who made the trip. It is difficult to travel with three children and a dog by myself. I was scared the traffic would be a nightmare, as this weekend was the opening of fishing season. Surprisingly, the traffic was not an issue. On the way to the hotel, I could hear something that sounded like dragging---like something was hanging off of my vehicle dragging along the road. Sure enough, when I finally got the hotel, I looked under my van and there was a piece that had fallen down. Thankfully, my aunt and uncle were nice enough to drive to the hotel and take the contraption off of my van. I guess it's not a big deal. Before I called my aunt, I called Jesse, I said," Jesse, there is a big, black thing hanging down from under the van and it drags on the ground when I drive!". Since, he was across the country he told me to take a picture, which I did with my phone and I sent it to him. His response was,"I don't know what that is, but you should probably get it fixed." My husband is so logical isn't he?

We got an offer on our house on Friday. The only problem was that the offer was 50,000 dollars less than our asking price. Ya....that is sort of a problem. On the way to Fargo I was talking to Jesse's sister Lisa. Lisa had asked me if we had any bites on our house yet, I told her we hadn't and how I don't really care about it anymore. I really don't. So, we don't sell? So what? Who cares? Not me. I just don't care.

We had people walk through the house on Saturday morning. I didn't care. Of course I made sure to have my house spotless before we left for Fargo, so I do care that much. For the last month all I have done is worry about people liking our house. I love my house. I love everything about it. After getting feedback after feedback and hearing what people don't like about my house, its just gotten annoying. We had an open house today. Again, I didn't care. My realtor asked if she could have an open house since we were going to be gone anyways, I said, "Sure, I don't care." Knowing that there were going to be a bunch of people walking through our house would have driven me crazy with anticipation before, but this time I didn't really think about it. As I was writing this post, I got an email, I checked it and it was feedback from the open house. I guess there were five couples who walked through, and two of the couples were really "interested". I guess we will see if we hear anything back from these people, but guess what, that's right---I don't care. Which is a good thing. I finally understand that it really doesn't matter. People shouldn't stress about things. It's out of my control. Besides, I just finished watching the show Brothers and Sisters and those people have way more to deal with than I do.

Past

The other night I had a dream that I fell off the wagon (in my dream I was drinking). I often have these dreams. The term euphoric recall is something I learned about after I first gave up drinking. Euphoric recall is something a person who has quit something addictive does. During Euphoric recall one remembers all the good times had while getting plastered---- like enjoying drinks with friends on a beach or something. I experience euphoric recall frequently---especially while watching other people getting hammered. I remember all of the good times I had while drinking and I forget about all of the terrible things that happened while drinking. I think the dreams I have are messages sent from somewhere far away; to remind me why I quit.

In the dream I had the other night, I was babysitting some one's child. While babysitting, I was sitting on a deck visiting with some of my girlfriends, drinking margaritas. While I was visiting with my friends, I decided to give the little girl I was babysitting a haircut. I cut the little girl's hair to look exactly like my baby Owen's hair. The mom of the little girl came into the picture as my friends and I were talking about the haircut and how it had turned out (keep in mind that Owen hardly has any hair at all). This mom was ticked. She yelled at me, then everyone else in my dream started to yell at me. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, I thought the haircut seemed like a great idea.

After having a dream like this I wake up in a sweat. I wake up like I used to wake up, after a real night of consuming a mass amount of alcohol. I am panicked, thinking about all the people I had angered. It takes me a few minutes before I realize that what I had just experienced, was yet again, a dream. When I discover that it was a dream, I am relieved and all of the many reason's I quit drinking are again remembered.


(In real life)-- I was 19 years-old. I was at a Johnny Holm Band concert. A woman came up to me and asked me if I had been drinking, I screamed " YES, Dah!". She then said,"Come with me, I want to show you something." I said, "Okay! YAY! A new friend!". I was then led to a lobby and read my rights. She was a cop. I was thrown into the back of a cop car. I was escorted to Cass County Jail. It was the second time I had been in a Cass County jail cell in a month. I hate jail. One of the only memories I have from jail that night (after the Johnny Holm Band concert), was the cops making me put on blue slip on shoes, which I told the cops over and over again, I didn't want wear, because I did not want to get athlete's foot. My poor parents--I had to get cash somewhere--getting bailed out of jail is not cheap.

Living in the Fargo/Moorhead area was a huge nightmare. I moved there when I was 19 and was in over my head as soon as I got within the city limits. Until, recently I hated Fargo. I hated Fargo, because all I could remember from that town were those stupid jail cells and my awful roommate. Now, I understand that I don't have to hate Fargo, after all the cops were just enforcing the law, which I had broken repeatedly.

I should have left with my dad the minute we walked into my tiny dorm room at Minnesota State University Moorhead. I remember my roommate walking into our room with her bags like it was yesterday. She was a senior.....yes, a senior. When my new roommate was pulling out all of her Star Wars paraphernalia, I should have taken that as sign of what was to come. It wasn't long before her CD player was blasting the musical tunes from "The Lion King". Hey, I love the "The Lion King" as much as the next person, but blasting it in a dorm room took it to a whole new level. I remember when my dad did start to leave, I followed him out crying. He kissed the top of my head--he didn't tell me everything was going to be okay. I am sure my father didn't tell me everything was going to be okay, because he was there to witness my roommate put a rubber glove on her head and bak like a chicken. I am not going to lie--my roommate was a bad person. For instance, Sept 11th, 2001, the World Trade Centers had just fallen, I like the REST of the world was glued to the TV, captivated by the heinous events that had just taken place. My roommate walked into our room, rolled her eyes, and said, " Not to be cold hearted or anything, but why all of this coverage, I am missing all of my favorite shows.". She was a loon. I still blame her for my going to jail. My roomie was a published author (at the age of 12). She would sit on her bottom bunk bed with her lap top glued to her lap. I swear, after every move I made, she would type something. I was paranoid. I thought she was writing a book about me. She hated me. I got so paranoid about her and her typing that one day while she was at class, I took the lap top which, I noticed she had left on her desk, and I tried to find a document titled, "My Roommate, Sarah". I didn't find a document named such, so I hurried and replaced the computer where she had left it. A while later she came back from class, and it was only seconds before she asked me if I had been "monkeying around with her lap top device", her exact words---not mine. I know my roommate sent me over the edge. One day my residence supervisor told me that I needed to find a new place to live, because my roommate didn't like me. She DIDN'T LIKE ME! Thankfully, I found a new place to live with another girl down the hall. I lasted all of one semester at Minnesota State University of Moorhead.

Events such as those listed above are times that were not so peachy. I am thankful for each and every experience I have had in life. I am thankful that I am able to make choices that don't LAND ME IN JAIL anymore! I am thankful that I never have to see that roommate again.

SNL

We had a showing this evening and we will another one tomorrow afternoon. This house will sell. It will right?

So, Betty White on SNL was like the best thing I have seen in a long time. I laughed my you know what off while watching it. I have always desperately wanted to be on that show. I think it's brilliant. The writers are phenomenal. If I could pick any one job in the world, it would be, to be a writer/actor on Saturday Night Live. Laughing is the best---to make people laugh for a living would be a dream come true. People who don't laugh really make me wonder. The Office is another show that I love. I was introduced to The Office while I was in the hospital last year. I watched the first couple of seasons and I loved every episode. I just want to shake people who haven't watched it! I do think you need to start with the very first season to appreciate it.

The Opsal house is really sort of boring at the moment, hence the above talk about television shows.

Graduation Party

We did have another house showing this morning. I hope it went good--- I have not heard about it feedback wise.

I went to a graduation party this evening. My friend Kyle was kind enough to invite me to his celebration. He was celebrating becoming a Doctor of Pharmacology. Amazing! He did good. Kyle is someone I grew up with. I remember the first day I met Kyle, we were in the seventh grade, I played the drums as did he. He thought I was weird, probably because I never actually learned to play the drums. I have mentioned before, I do not have the attention span needed for these sorts of things. I would bang on my snare drum and pretend like I knew what I was doing, but it was all an act; I think Kyle was on to my pretending to play the drums act. I lasted a week playing in the band at Williston Junior High School, and then I abandoned the drum. Soon after my drum days were behind me, I became good friends with Kyle. It was a privilege and an honor to be able to congratulate him in person on this special day.

At the graduation party I saw people I have not seen in many years. I told one particular person I was moving back to Williston--her response was " Say it isn't so!". I get this reaction often when I inform past williston people of my impending move. I think Williston is an okay town in some aspects, but I get why people don't want to live there. For some people the reason is, they remember the bad times and have forgotten the good. I also went through my share of dark moments in Williston. I do believe that I can make Williston a great home for my family. I think having other people at my children's sporting events, birthday parties, and school functions will be nice. Jesse has to miss out on many of these types of events when he gone working. My kids have become used to seeing the other kids in the area with their huge lot of family members. I am excited to be able to share my children's lives with the many waiting back home. If I could get my family to move to Apple Valley, that would be perfect. However, I tried and it was not going to happen.

Tonight, I am anticipating Saturday Night Live. Betty White is the host--which is going to make for some great laughs.

Hal thinks she is hearing a noise coming from the bathtub right now. I am choosing to let her work this out on her own.

We had a showing today. A couple walked through the house and (I am told) they really loved it. They thought the house would be perfect for them ( I am told), but they HATE the back yard. I hate our back yard too now. Stupid backyard.

Yesterday, Hal was listing different things she could do for me for Mother's Day. She said, " I could color you a picture, I could paint you a picture, I could draw you a picture, or we could go to Jared." I don't know if anyone else has seen those corny commercials for Jared (jewelry store), where the people in the commercial say "He went to Jared!?!?". This comment made me giggle. Hal has such an amazing personality. The things she says and the questions she asks are priceless.

We went to Keyton's buddy's house today during our house showing. Kim (Keyton's friend's mom) was kind enough to make us dinner. It was a nice way to end the day.

Owen is still army crawling. He can give kisses now---which is like the cutest thing in the world. Yesterday, I told Keyton to ask Owen for a kiss, so Keyton did, and Owen gave him the sloppiest kiss ever---Keyton tried to act like he thought it was cute, but his face said.......GROSS. This morning Owen was saying," pa pa pa" which I think is for puppy, but probably not--how do we know? Owen is starting to pull himself up on to furniture; which is another amazing milestone. His legs are still too week to hold himself up for too long. I always worry about Owen and his development since he was born so early, but so far things have been perfect.

Present

Lately, I have been trying to be present in all moments. What I mean is, I am trying to pay attention to conversations, stories, and situations. I (all to often) find myself looking at a person and watching their lips move without hearing anything that has been said. It can get challenging at times trying to reply to their comment's and/or stories. I do not mean to be rude. I can not help this. I know there is medication for people who have similar symptoms. I don't think I need any listening/paying attention medication. What I think I need, is for people to be aware that while they are talking to me, they need to ask, "Sarah, what did I just say?". My poor mother and husband know this all to well about me. My mom will just get off the phone with me when I am doing this. My husband on the other hand, will keep talking even while knowing I am off in "unfocused land". When Jess is working and we talk on the phone, this is what I hear, "Teterboro, San Jose, Florida, Kentucky." When I get off the phone with my beloved husband, I will get a call from someone, like my dad or grandmother, and they will ask me where Jesse is. My answer is, "Oh, he is in New Jersey, or maybe San Francisco, no- he is in Florida, yes, I am sure he is in Kentucky.". My family knows that this is normal for me and Jess is a real trooper. Jesse never gets angry or offended when I ask him 16 times a day where he is. He is my hero, my husband is. Anyone who can be so tolerant of my bothersome tendencies, is in my opinion, the "bomb". I have meaningful people in my life who have tolerated my unfocused ways for years, and for that I thankful. My good friends and family- thank you for being so patient with me, I know we often have phone conversations that consistently involves me saying things like," I am thinking. I was thinking about something, but I forgot." or, " I can't remember what I was going to say. What did I just say?". Jesse, I love you and thank you for being you, and for loving me, for being me.

Hal is not in bed yet, which is late for her. Okay-- I just lied, it is not late for her, as she is on somewhat of a terrible schedule. She did however just come into my room a minute ago, and tell me that I can just call her "brushing teeth to much girl" as she just has brushed her teeth so much. So at least she has brushed her teeth.

Better Day

Yesterday and today have been much better than Thursday. I didn't for one, walk around with my undies hanging out of my pants with my shirt tucked into them ( like I did on Thursday). The weather has been sort of glum, but I have been in a somewhat splendid mood.

Owen is in bed (he had exhausted himself from slithering around like a snake), Keyton is at the neighbors (where he has spent most of the day), and Hal is playing quietly in the living room.

Jesse is in Louisville. I am very thankful that we are moving back home-- we really could use some company.

When Jesse is away, I find myself rarely having an adult conversation, which is okay, but I sometimes forget how to talk "normally". Today, I went to Walmart and I asked a teenage employee where the potty was. It's really funny when I think about this scenario, because-- I asked a TEENAGE BOY where a potty was. He did look at me funny. It doesn't matter that I have three children with me...when I am in public, I should be able to remember words like, restroom and bathroom. Jeesh.

Last night I spent an hour jumping on and off my bed (with Hal). In mid-air, Hal and I would yell, "WEEEEEE!" It was an enjoyable evening. Boy-- how times have changed. I can assure you 8 years ago I wasn't jumping off a bed on a Friday night saying, " WEEEEEE!" (actually, maybe I was). I love spending this time with my children. I have come to understand the importance of moments such as these. I know that my daughter won't be jumping off the bed with me in a few years (at least I don't think she will be).

No showings for the house today. It was nice to have a day off.